Arnab Goswami: Messiah of the Comics | Sunaina Kumar

Arnab Goswami: Messiah of the Comics

Thanks to Mamata Banerjee, stand-up comics are a surfeited lot these days. When in doubt, write a Didi joke (note to comics: there are just so many Didi jokes out there, and you have used them all. Stop this atrocity now). But, there is one man whose contribution to comedy in India has gone unnoticed, unacknowledged and yes, he alone keeps many struggling comics afloat. If it were not for him, the so-called urban stand-up comedy revolution (can we label it a revolution if beer and jokes can now be found under one roof in our cities?) would never have occurred. We all know him as journalist-crusader, the man who selflessly rescues us from ourselves every day, saviour of the nation, and purveyor of justice, it is the legen – wait for it – dary, Arnab Goswami.

Now, about the comics who’re mooching off him, there are those whose sole purpose in comedy seems to be the takedown of Arnab Goswami. Take Anuvab Pal for example, the playwright (Chaos Theory) and scriptwriter (Loins of Punjab) has recently started moonlighting as a stand-up comic. His new show which opened last week at the Comedy Store in Mumbai is called The Nation Wants to Know (one of Arnab’s stock lines). Pal wrote an eloquent Ode to Arnab some time back, which you can read here. He calls him the John Rambo of Indian news anchors, the only man who not just reads the news, but can tear the news, break the news, blow the news and be blown by the news. It’s a long missive, filled with love from fanboy Anuvab to his hero Arnab.

If you dig some more of this goo-goo eyed stuff from unemployed comics to their object of affection and raison d’etre, then here is another one by Mumbai-based comic Khamba. He contends that a one-horned rhino gets poached in Kaziranga every time He (in the context of comedy, ‘He’ is not ‘he’ anymore) opens his mouth. Rohan Joshi, a popular stand-up in Mumbai worked in an auto show on Times Now, his signature line after quitting his job reads, ‘He got to drive the best cars in the world, travel to the best places in the world, and get paid a lot for it, while working under Arnab Goswami. Then he quit for a job with hardly any travelling and money, for a chance to NOT work with Arnab Goswami’.

I could go on with my list that proves just how many people owe their bread and butter to Arnab Goswami, and they are not all employees of Times Now. Ashish Shakya, a columnist and comic knows that no matter which of his jokes work, this one with Him always will, ‘I predict that Arnab Goswami will become the Speaker of the House and will be able to shut everybody up, except Navjot Singh Sidhu. This will then lead to a loudmouth death-match and the universe will explode’.

A few weeks back Madhu Kishwar wrote a well-meaning open letter to Arnab Goswami that went viral. For many the angry epistle represented the victory of David (we the people) over Goliath (Arnab Goswami, judge, jury and executioner all rolled into one). Kishwar highlighted Goswami’s Kangaroo Court tactics where instant justice and punishment are doled out to the wrong-doers every night. I must confess to feeling a moment of glib satisfaction when I read the piece. But, here is where I will gladly eat crow. Arnab Goswami, there have been many dull days made better by you. We love you just the way you are. And did I mention? Thank you for the comedy.

(The views expressed in this column are the writer’s own)

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  • http://Website simmi Waraich

    Nicely put

  • http://Website Sarojini

    grapes r sour.

  • http://Website Tonmoy

    Note to author: Are you planning to get into stand up comedy?
    If yes, then congrats on riding the wave you just mentioned on your own blog.
    But sadly, unlike the stand-up comics you mentioned above who took the pains of being comic and wrote something original, your article just smells of ‘wannabe’ stand-up comic who wants to poke fun at The Arnab Goswami, but fails to cook something (maybe lack of creativity..ahem…trying too much can be confusing) original & then the word “META” comes to her mind.
    Nice try but stand-up comic is not your forte. Leave it to the experts.
    Journalism wise, this piece is also a bad attempt. Try Page-3 journalism.

    I can foresee how I’ll be thrashed as a troll and hater. I barely know you (but I hate the photoediting software (possibly MS Paint) used to superimpose a RED background into your display pic). So I just hated that I wasted 5 minutes of my precious life reading this blog & another 5 minutes to comment on it. No personal grudge or sympathizer of AG, just a fiery reader who doesn’t spare faltu blogs.

  • http://Website Ashish

    Very poor in taste and terrible piece of writing. Am not a fan of AG but this is clearly written to settle some personal scores. I do not see any value in this criticism, except that the author has seems to have serious personal issues with AG. Wonder why Tehelka offers a platform for such lousy blogs.

  • http://Website Vikram

    I Agree with Ashish. I loathe AG, but the article has no direction.

  • http://Website Sumanta

    The article makes absolutely no sense, like Vikram mentioned, directionless.

  • http://Website Aditya Sood

    Trite piece. Disgusting. AB at least tries to get the people to become passionate about issues that matter. All you do is write such reprehensible articles on people who try to put a corrupt government in dock. Dare you to write a similar nay same tome article on Sonia, Manmohan or Rahul. Or 2G,CWG, Coalgate. Do give it a try.

  • http://Website baruk

    hh gosh sunaina. now you’ve really ticked them off. where’s the Taste, miss? and the Direction? and the Originality? tut tut.

  • http://Website Priya

    God! The article Anubhav wrote was satirical with his hatred for AG. I am surprised the Author didnt catch it!!

  • http://Website Niraj Kumar

    Sunaina I know u must be feeling doubtful of your “skills” while reading the comments but should I say one thing; only one thing. Pls try to “organise” yourself while writing anything….text is like a symphony where one instrument while still partaking with the another ultimately dies in the background. So one text should lead to another otherwise it becomes cacophony and “noise”.

    What you have written is “noise” and that too venomous noise….

    I am no fan of Arnab…barely watch his shouts but may be sometimes I feel that apart from making news his bread and butter he also gets pads from “other” sources….

  • http://Website Chayan Sen Gupta, Guwahati

    Brilliantly summed-up by the author. This moron Arnab Goswami is basically a return gift from Northeast to India for AFSPA !

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/bluebuddha1/ Navin

    I find this article kind. I sometimes sit and wonder on the consequences of shoddy ego fueled journalism. I remember the last time Arnab said something skewed on Kashmir and the youth there went berserk on the social media. it is as if a court has been established – blue in color. Seriously, is there a way we can rope in and drive some responsibility into journalism?

    PS: he brings in seven panelists for a 30 min show and gives each of them not more than four mins to speak. where is the rationality? the only reason I am forced to watch hat stupid channel is because my cable operator sucks more than him.

    Write more.

  • http://Website S

    Loved the sarcasm, and you gave AG what he deserved. He is the joker in the pack. I cringe everytime he speaks. Finally someone had the guts to call a spade a spade.

  • http://Website manu

    Poor criticism.. Tehelka should expel this blogger from the list.. I waste my time…!!!

  • http://Website Rouf Bhat

    Kashmiris will love this piece.
    Haha…. Arnab “Nation wants to know through your channel”

  • http://Website Ashish Kumar

    Looks like this lady tried many things and then accidentally became journalist. That is so evident from this article. AG is a bugger, but I am afraid this article does nothing but a creates a comedy competing with AG’s dramatics.
    This is the problem with non mainstream Commie journalists.

  • http://Website Deep

    Thank you Sunaina for your crap!

  • http://Website Gunjan

    Sunaina Babu…after reading the comments here, i hope your mind will open up now..try to do something good and avoid writing such bad piece which ultimately makes you a laughing stock. try to cock a snook at someone else. Buddhu.

  • http://Website Eureka

    After I saw Arnab, I was wondering…Can there be a bigger tragedy to journalism then him breaking all records of shameless stupidity???..and here is my Eureka moment…thank you so much for all your help…

  • http://NA Deepak

    Hmm… This makes me think who is worse, Arnab or Sunaina. Such a sad piece of writing. Not expected from the class of Tehelka.

  • http://parwatisingari.wordpress.com parwatisingari

    Arunab, is Barkha’s worthy successor, who uses punctuation, which Barkha didn’t
    He has managed to divert the nations attention from the Gandhi-Vadra inappropriateness very effectively.

  • http://Website Prachi

    i have become a fan of your writing!

  • http://Website Prachi
  • http://Website Prithvi

    Totally crap article…no depth of critisism and logic, just hatred for AG. AG is far better than u.

  • http://Website gobinda

    AG is far far better than u crap . get off from tehelka .. this is the magazine people read and if u continue writting here .. everyone will run away from tehelka ..

  • saurabh

    i cnt comment on the views of different people like our journalist here but i think Arnab goswami is that journalist which INDIA needs. instead of criticizing him , learn from him.

  • Comedy fan

    Came here after I saw Khamba tweet a link this article. If there is a comedic element to the way a newsreader delivers news, the comedians will use it in their job. If there is something to be made fun of in the way Tendulkar plays cricket, the comedians will use it. And people will laugh. You can rest assured that you will be making it to a script very soon thanks to this article too.

    The Arnab set has been part of Anubab’s acts for a long time now. I first saw it in December 2010. I find it really good every time I see it and I’m willing to pay to see it again. If you frequent stand up gigs, you would notice that with most comedians, the Delhi stereotype, the Jaat stereotype, Gujju stereotype are all favourites among comedians too.

    But so what? What are you there for? For a few laughs. Arnab delivers. Didi delivers. The Delhi boy delivers. I fail to see the problem. I have been to enough comedy gigs to realise that intellectual humour which is a notch above the usual racial stuff is not very well received by Infian crowds.

    Tanmay has once tweeted something like this – if you go to a same comedians show more than once in a short spam of time and then say he repeats his jokes, you are the fool, not the comic.

    Recently, I learned to my embarrassment never to earn the wrath of a comedian. It is not worth it, in the long run. But then you are a different person.

    Further, I am not even sure if you are complaining because the comics use Arnab in their material. Pretty badly written up, you’re article is.

  • Comedy fan

    Came here after I saw Khamba tweet a link this article. If there is a comedic element to the way a newsreader delivers news, the comedians will use it in their job. If there is something to be made fun of in the way Tendulkar plays cricket, the comedians will use it. And people will laugh. You can rest assured that you will be making it to a script very soon thanks to this article too.

    The Arnab set has been part of Anubab’s acts for a long time now. I first saw it in December 2010. I find it really good every time I see it and I’m willing to pay to see it again. If you frequent stand up gigs, you would notice that with most comedians, the Delhi stereotype, the Jaat stereotype, Gujju stereotype are all favourites among comedians too.

    But so what? What are you there for? For a few laughs. Arnab delivers. Didi delivers. The Delhi boy delivers. I fail to see the problem. I have been to enough comedy gigs to realise that intellectual humour which is a notch above the usual racial stuff is not very well received by Indian crowds, so they end up peddling what sells. In making fun of Salman Khan movies, their acts end up being the Salman Khan movies of stand up, and I’m sure they are smart enough to realize it.

    Tanmay has once tweeted something like this – if you go to a same comedians show more than once in a short spam of time and then say he repeats his jokes, you are the fool, not the comic.

    Recently, I learned to my embarrassment never to earn the wrath of a comedian. It is not worth it, in the long run. But then you are a different person.

    Further, I am not even sure if you are complaining because the comics use Arnab in their material.

  • Neha M.

    Nasty. And Not in a good way. :|

  • Nataraj

    Ahh gosh! Arnaab, our Arnaab, the only, lonely hope for the planet, the shimmering line of the multitudes too got stabbed by these merciless comedians, Oh Sunaina yu tu brute..! joined the hands.. shame thee!
    Get up Arnab, get up Captain, you should bombard these blasphemous creatures called comedians and small time journos with your seemless thunderous bolt of words… We who graduated out of cartoon networks, we the generation of He-Man, Sigma, Shakitman have only found solace in you… The supreme superman of the News Channels its time to pull your socks, wear a chaddi on the pants and fly high swinging thine immortal butchering sword of oxfordo vocabulatio on these satanic nemesis…

    Hail thee captain in advance!!!

  • Roy

    had a great laugh while reading this and the other articles linked to it!!!

  • madhvendra singh

    You can write a very similar article with an analogy that Arvind Kejriwal is a poseur and we love UPA and every other politician because they are corrupt and thats funny

  • Syed Imran

    in my view Arnab Goswami is an anti minority guy too beside a political joker ,shouter, school principal, lie laywer doesnt listen to anybody behave always like a dictator. sorry Arnob for these harsh words but i cant hide my emotions against you. But still addicted to see in the NEWSHOUR. dont know WHY???????

  • kasinarayanan ramasubramanian

    sometime me and my wife will laugh at his acting.
    people think he is fearless but he is fearless to small fish. he is scared to puruse truth in Robert vadraa case, but he can pursue truth in guruth meiyappan., another son in law. balls with his fearless

  • Karita

    No where in the world one finds such an anchor- neither medium nor well done – absolutely rare !!